Dear Ethan: Do you like my new hat? If you are thinking, "hey, that reminds me of my favorite hat!", then you are very observant. As you know, I am a maniacal genius, and therefore I will have you know that even though my mom already returned the hat in question to you, I will be exacting ransom from you retroactively when you least expect it. In laymen terms, you owe me, buddy. Love, Jack